A Kerm is a Second Self.

It’s coming up on a year ago that the “kerm” was hatched, so what better time is there to write a post about her?! Trick question, there is no better time. Every time is great for a kerm talk.

So, I just stumbled upon this link talking about seven signs that you know you have a real best friend. I “literally can’t handle” how perfect this is for us. Every single point has been done between us numerous times and some of my best memories with you have somehow been captured in an Elite Daily post. Now, side note, I’ve had best friends before and I still have other best friends, but no one quite compares to my kermsauce.

From the time during fall semester last year that you were brutally honest with me and told me you “didn’t like me throughout high school and now you’re obsessed with me,” I knew you were going to be someone I wanted around for a long time. You’re just as big of an asshole as I am and that alone makes me love you to death. You made that clear again when you told me you hated my dreads, but if anyone could pull of this style, it’s me. (Took that as a compliment as much as possible.) But shotgunning energy drinks the night of finals in my kitchen and not sleeping for two days straight sealed the deal. You’re also just as weird as I am and that’s saying a hell of a lot.

I have found, in you, my best friend and my person. You are my absolute go-to (as you saw at 3:56 am on Sunday morning) and the best advice giver in the world. I have found security in knowing that I can trust you in any situation and you make me laugh harder than anyone ever has. I know that I want you in my life forever because you’re the only person that can be brutally honest with me and tell me when I’m right or wrong and not feel bad either way. You back me up in any situation, whether it’s just talking me through a situation or literally threatening people’s existence when they say rude comments to or about me. You love my family and that alone makes me feel like you’re my sister, but the bond we share exemplifies that to the extreme.

I am so lucky to have finally found the person I’ve always wanted to have in my life. I am so lucky to have you and as my sister in Alpha Phi and in the shish world, too. I am so happy that I came to U of I solely based on the fact that I got to become best friends with you and change your stupid high school opinion of me. I really don’t know where I’d be without you, kermboo.

Just to end this, a few comparisons to let everyone know just how attached we are…
You’re the Daisy Duck to my Minnie Mouse.
You’re the Opie to my Jax Teller.
You’re the Gru to my Minion.
You’re the lime to my tequila and the Jack to my diet coke.
You’re the Marta Foote Crow to my…..who are the other founders?
You’re the Jimmy Johns to my Torticas.
You’re the Toews to my Kane.
You’re the Insomnia Cookie to my Berry Juicy Juice.
You’re the Stabler to my Benson.
You’re the Yolk to my Burnett’s.
You’re the Pumpkin Spice Latte to my Fleece Vest.
You’re the Tinkerbelle to my Alice in Wonderland.
You’re the Margartiaville to my Red Lion.
You’re the iParty to my Semi-formal.
You’re the Redbull to my Monster.
You’re the kerm to my kerm.

PS. I’m sorry this sounds like a love letter.
PPS. No, I’m not. Lesbikerms.

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AlKerm.

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